BibChatter

It is without fail that the Monday morning alarm clock leaves working moms (and dads) tired, maybe a little cranky, even a little blue.  After spending a great weekend with my kids, I dread the beginning of the week knowing I am running around crazy on Monday morning just to drop them off at daycare and miss them for the next 8 hours.  Strange as it maybe...the idea of sending my little girl off to school, well that doesn't bother me so much.  I know she is supposed to be there ~ learning, playing, and avoiding getting a "ticket" for talking in line :-).  But the boys are different and I feel like a hypocrite sometimes.  When I was at home full time after being laid off from DHL and before I started working again, I got into this crazy routine of diapers, Barney / Sesame Street, grocery shopping, and house cleaning.  My days of adult interaction were suddenly over and I missed them.

So, I decided to enter a new field, Medical Billng, and after receiving my CMRS certification, have begun to work in a hospital to gain valuable experience.  For the past 6 weeks, I have been working full time and what a shock it was to my system and my routine!  I miss my children terribly and Barney's endless songs don't seem quite so annoying.  My husband shakes his head at me when a comment slips from me about working....I can just tell what's going through his mind; "You wanted to go back to work....now you want to stay home...".  Thank heavens he is sweet and supportive about the whole thing.  I am so blessed to be able to have the life I have and financially not required to work full time permanently (at least not for a while). 

Luckily, I will be able to go to part time in 2 weeks and hopefully will find a happy balance of working and being home.  Then I can start working on building my home business of medical billing for small specialty practices.  The whole topic is something I have been struggling with for quite some time and imagine many other moms struggle with it too.  How do you assess your self worth as a mom?  By your yearly salary? How many home cooked meals you prepare and the cleanliness of your house?  Neither I suppose, or maybe both. 

From one mom to another, I suppose I will continue to go back and forth on this and cherish the time I have with my kids for now.  Can't believe my little girl is almost 10 and in the blink of an eye, I will miss these days, the Barney songs (will he still be around??), and my little BibChatters :-).  Then I can look at my husband and figure out how to deal with "empty nest" issues.....