BibChatter

It is without fail that the Monday morning alarm clock leaves working moms (and dads) tired, maybe a little cranky, even a little blue.  After spending a great weekend with my kids, I dread the beginning of the week knowing I am running around crazy on Monday morning just to drop them off at daycare and miss them for the next 8 hours.  Strange as it maybe...the idea of sending my little girl off to school, well that doesn't bother me so much.  I know she is supposed to be there ~ learning, playing, and avoiding getting a "ticket" for talking in line :-).  But the boys are different and I feel like a hypocrite sometimes.  When I was at home full time after being laid off from DHL and before I started working again, I got into this crazy routine of diapers, Barney / Sesame Street, grocery shopping, and house cleaning.  My days of adult interaction were suddenly over and I missed them.

So, I decided to enter a new field, Medical Billng, and after receiving my CMRS certification, have begun to work in a hospital to gain valuable experience.  For the past 6 weeks, I have been working full time and what a shock it was to my system and my routine!  I miss my children terribly and Barney's endless songs don't seem quite so annoying.  My husband shakes his head at me when a comment slips from me about working....I can just tell what's going through his mind; "You wanted to go back to work....now you want to stay home...".  Thank heavens he is sweet and supportive about the whole thing.  I am so blessed to be able to have the life I have and financially not required to work full time permanently (at least not for a while). 

Luckily, I will be able to go to part time in 2 weeks and hopefully will find a happy balance of working and being home.  Then I can start working on building my home business of medical billing for small specialty practices.  The whole topic is something I have been struggling with for quite some time and imagine many other moms struggle with it too.  How do you assess your self worth as a mom?  By your yearly salary? How many home cooked meals you prepare and the cleanliness of your house?  Neither I suppose, or maybe both. 

From one mom to another, I suppose I will continue to go back and forth on this and cherish the time I have with my kids for now.  Can't believe my little girl is almost 10 and in the blink of an eye, I will miss these days, the Barney songs (will he still be around??), and my little BibChatters :-).  Then I can look at my husband and figure out how to deal with "empty nest" issues.....

Everyday we hear in the news how awful the economy is....how thousands of Americans are finding themselves in situations they never dreamed possible. My family is no stranger to becoming a part of this statistic, but fortunately we are one of the lucky ones. My husband and I were recently laid off (we worked at the same company) just a few short months ago. Thank heavens we both found employment very quickly and seemed to survive, a potentially devasting situation. Then we were blessed again - I found out we were going to have our 3rd child. Crazy timing..yes, especially with a new job. Things went well at first, then I was hurt at work and forced to go on leave without pay and not allowed to work on any type of modified work schedule. So now I am at home...a place I have always wanted to be, but never thought I would have the chance to be a stay at home mom. My husband is incredibly supportive and bares the sole responsibility of our income now. We are blessed to be so lucky and I know things can be stressful and uncertain in his new role. Noone is safe from being laid off and it could happen again.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have found a joy in being home with my son and daughter that many women in similar situations to ours have now come to realize. From first time steps and signs from my 14 month old son to beautiful transformation of my 9yr old daughter growing up right before my eyes. My schedule went from managing work schedules and appointments with family life to trying manage the household in a more domestic like fashion. Needless to say, I have quickly found out that I really can't cook and want to desperately break away from the 5 to 6 standard meals I can get through. It never occurred to me how often we ate out now that we have cut back on this luxury somewhat. I want to have my house in perfect order everyday...but that has quickly proven to be unachievable. Lastly, I would love to be made up (presentable) each morning as I had been for work..but that too has fallen to the back burner.

So for now, it is baby steps.. our third son will be here in June and life will change all over again. I will enjoy the precious time I have at home and thank God for my loving husband each and every day. Who knows....maybe I will someday learn how to cook :-)......

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