BibChatter

It is without fail that the Monday morning alarm clock leaves working moms (and dads) tired, maybe a little cranky, even a little blue.  After spending a great weekend with my kids, I dread the beginning of the week knowing I am running around crazy on Monday morning just to drop them off at daycare and miss them for the next 8 hours.  Strange as it maybe...the idea of sending my little girl off to school, well that doesn't bother me so much.  I know she is supposed to be there ~ learning, playing, and avoiding getting a "ticket" for talking in line :-).  But the boys are different and I feel like a hypocrite sometimes.  When I was at home full time after being laid off from DHL and before I started working again, I got into this crazy routine of diapers, Barney / Sesame Street, grocery shopping, and house cleaning.  My days of adult interaction were suddenly over and I missed them.

So, I decided to enter a new field, Medical Billng, and after receiving my CMRS certification, have begun to work in a hospital to gain valuable experience.  For the past 6 weeks, I have been working full time and what a shock it was to my system and my routine!  I miss my children terribly and Barney's endless songs don't seem quite so annoying.  My husband shakes his head at me when a comment slips from me about working....I can just tell what's going through his mind; "You wanted to go back to work....now you want to stay home...".  Thank heavens he is sweet and supportive about the whole thing.  I am so blessed to be able to have the life I have and financially not required to work full time permanently (at least not for a while). 

Luckily, I will be able to go to part time in 2 weeks and hopefully will find a happy balance of working and being home.  Then I can start working on building my home business of medical billing for small specialty practices.  The whole topic is something I have been struggling with for quite some time and imagine many other moms struggle with it too.  How do you assess your self worth as a mom?  By your yearly salary? How many home cooked meals you prepare and the cleanliness of your house?  Neither I suppose, or maybe both. 

From one mom to another, I suppose I will continue to go back and forth on this and cherish the time I have with my kids for now.  Can't believe my little girl is almost 10 and in the blink of an eye, I will miss these days, the Barney songs (will he still be around??), and my little BibChatters :-).  Then I can look at my husband and figure out how to deal with "empty nest" issues.....

It's Sunday morning and as always, another day begins with our little routine. My 8 wk old son rustles around in his crib just a foot from our bed, while my 18 month old (who graced us with his presence in our bed last night) sits up and starts the "Ba Ba" chant. My eyes are still closed but my body rises, as if on auto pilot, to get the boys, change diapers, warm bottles, grab a cup of coffee (a MUST!), and sneak a peak at Channel 5 news beforing putting on Barney. Our daughter is with her dad this week and even though she just went back yesterday, I miss her already.

As I carry Charlie on my hip and his bottle in the other, I hear the sweetest song coming from the living room. To other ears, it wouldn't make sense, but I can make out the random chants as "A, B, C, D....". Ben, my older son, has been practicing his ABC's. He is getting the tune somewhat down and blocks of letters in the right order, but somehow "G, H, I" comes after "R, S" in his version. Still music to my ears :-).


My husband comes down and helps with the boys and my coffee machine which I thought was taking a tank on me. That would be a disaster! He had just bought a Keurig Single Cup machine for my birthday in June, which I had been wanting for quite sometime. This year we bought a Tassimo for my brother-in-law and a Keuring for my mother-in-law - so I have been dying to have one too. Anyway, when it wouldn't brew, I began to get just a little frazzled because no matter what the day or the routine, I have to have my cup of coffee (ok, two cups). Needless to say, it was a simple fix, the coffee refill was crumpled a bit, so he popped in a new one and we are good to go.

Half an hour after rising, everyone is getting settled and I am finally starting to wake up...go java! Charlie and I are sitting on the couch, he is propped up on his Boppy in my lap drinking his bottle while Ben is mesmorized by Barney - that big purple dinosaur I swore I would never let my kids watch. Did I mention I was in my 20's when this opinion was formed and had no idea what I was talking about?

Looking around at my little ones going about their morning as usual, my husband relaxing on the recliner with Charlie resting peacefully on his chest; Ben sweetly chattering his "ABC's", and my coffee getting low (time for cup two), I thank God quitely for my life and for this moment which I can't wait to relive tomorrow. (Wait...tomorrow is Monday morning...routine will be a crazy!).....